Being Back

Three weeks can seem to be almost three years. The amount I can change in that short amount of time, that it actually is, astonishes me. I am actually happy with these changes. I accept them and welcome them. Mixing these changes in with my life away from home was quite easy. Doing so at home has not been the same. I am having a difficult time being around some of the people that I once felt comfortable around. The connection and conversation has changed. What I am trying to remember is that, although they may have ahd their changes also, I have been the one who has drastically changed. I can, but should not, expect others to know how I have changed, understand these changes, and follow my path. I am working on reminding myself that I would not like it so much if the same was asked of me.

So, the last short two weeks that I have been home feel like they have lasted so much longer than the time that I was away.

Now, sitting here, on a Friday night, I am writing on my blog and trying to void myself from the stress of the many thoughts that are on my head. Trying to remind myself that running is something that I have wanted to change so much and it is something that I cannot let myself fall back into. I need to go and see this person that I need to see. I need to have that conversation. I need to not let them talk to me or my family that way. I need to be honest and straight with them. I need to tell them how their actions have taken a toll on my emotions and the trust that I have with them. All of these things and more need to be done. One of them needs to have happened already or I may not have the chance.

In short, being back has been a punch to muscle. I am hurting and it has been difficult to get back to where I was but dang, I am happy that I built up that muscle while I was gone!